During the holidays we hear a lot about being "perfect". We try to make the perfect meal, set the perfect table, find the perfect gift and create the perfect holiday. Sometimes the perfect gift is not perfect at all. It is your willingness to look awkward and not know what to say, and yet still show up and be there for a loved one that is grieving. 

Over the last few weeks I have been trying to find the perfect thing to say to one of my friends that unexpectedly lost her husband. In my search to find the perfect gift and write the perfect note, I have become paralyzed in moving forward with my good intentions.

How often does this happen to all of us? We miss the opportunity to bring light and joy to an individual that is hurting because we have become stuck in our desire to be "perfect". Our need to be perfect is often combined with our fear of saying the wrong thing or not wanting to face our own fears about death. It is our willingness to move past these fears that makes all the difference.

Through the stress and the rush of the season, I encourage you to take the time to truly connect with your loved ones that are grieving. Your support will be the gift that they remember for many years to come, even if it is less than perfect.

And with that in mind, I am off to the Post Office to send my less than perfect gift to my friend and hope that it will bring joy to her this holiday season.

Click Here for more Thoughtful Gift ideas.

© 2009 Lori Pederson
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